Humans have always been social creatures, suffering severe depression when alone; however, this social tendency breeds a new and often overlooked problem altogether. In a world that increasingly values visibility, productivity, and persistent engagement, the pressure to constantly be involved and contributing to your community can become overwhelming, especially for students who are still trying to figure out their own identity.
While having communities is essential for people to thrive, they can quickly turn from a source of comfort to a home for stress when societal expectations replace choice and belonging becomes conditional. Rather than serving as a support system, your own community can feel like an obligation to perform as a leader of give endlessly with disregard for personal limits. This tension raises an important question for students today: how can individuals remain connected and engaged without sacrificing their authenticity, mental health, or sense of self?
Community doesn’t necessarily mean being everywhere all the time. Belonging can mean coexisting in big groups and small circles, public leaderships or private connections at the same time. Some students feel most grounded in clubs or teams, while others find their sense of belonging in one-on-one friendships or even within mentors, coaches or teachers. Those quieter forms of community can often be overlooked despite their significant impacts on a student’s emotional well-being and health, along with their academic successes. When community is understood as a flexible concept rather than a rigid idea, it becomes more inclusive and better reflects the various students within Grant Community High School and the ways that we seek connection and support.
Serving your community, whether it be your school or a group of friends, is important; especially seeing how service plays an important role in fostering responsibility, empathy, and civic engagement among students. Therefore, the expectation to constantly serve for others can become unsustainable without adequate support. Healthy community involvement is reinforced by strong support systems, including friends, teachers, counselors, and your family members. These relationships provide guidance and stability and help to remind students that contributing to a community doesn’t necessarily require self-sacrifice to the point of exhaustion, and that service is most effective when it coexists alongside mutual care and shared responsibilities.
GCHS English teacher and librarian Angela Balanag has seen first hand how community can vary from student to student, the prospect being reinforced in her time in the library. Balanag believes that the library is a safe space for all. “We all need a place that’s safe and where we feel comfort and belonging, should just be a given. You are here. You are a Bulldog. You belong.”
Balancing service with authenticity can be a critical challenge for students navigating their identities. Adolescents often feel the societal pressure to align their actions with expectations rather than their own personal values. This is especially common in workplace environments, which prioritize productivity and leadership skills, or even at school, where a sense of normalcy is required to fit in. When service becomes performative or even obligatory, it undermines an individual’s sense of self. Authentic engagement allows students to contribute in ways that align with their own interests, strengths, and boundaries.
In some cases, the desire to serve can evolve into something of a martyr complex, in which students can feel the compelling desire to shoulder excessive responsibility for the well-being of others.This mindset reinforces the false belief that personal worth is tied to constant self-sacrifice. Such obscene expectations placed upon someone gives them an unfair emotional burden and can lead to burnout. It’s important to remember that not all meaningful community involvement is expansive or visible. Many students find fulfillment and belonging within small, trusted networks where responsibility is shared and support is reciprocal. Recognizing the importance of these communities challenges the notion that impact must be largely-scaled to be meaningful.
“The positive feelings and encouragement that a student receives from engaging in these responsibilities can create an unhealthy cycle,” GCHS psychologist Rachel Lesiak says, “those emotions lead to an increased self-esteem and sense of self initially. While positive at first, this can develop into students over-relying on these excessive responsibilities to feel purpose. When the chronic stress of this builds up, it can be debilitating for their emotional well-being.”
Ultimately, our communities should be able to function as a place of shared care rather than a place of expectation and unforgiving selflessness. True belonging is not defined by how much a student gives, what their GPA is, whether or not they’re a Varsity or JV athlete, how many awards they hold, or how visible their contributions are. It’s defined by the support they’re given and if they feel understood, loved, and valued as individuals. As students at GCHS navigate their academics, extracurriculars, relationships, and future aspirations, it becomes increasingly important to redefine what a true community looks like. Healthy communities allow for rest, boundaries, and honesty; they should encourage students to contribute in ways that align with their values and beliefs instead of demanding constant self-sacrifice.
When a community is built on mutual respect and shared responsibility, students are better equipped not only to support others, but also to sustain themselves.
