When strolling along the sandy beaches of a tropical island, relaxation might approach one’s mind. The sand peeping through toes along with the sound of the waves cascading onto the shoreline is the pure image of serenity.
Up above head is a mural painted with swirls of purples and spirals of pinks and blues that fold together to create a divine skyline.
At the beginning of my relationship, it felt similar to this. Each day was positive and filled with affection. Truthfully, I didn’t even recognize the beginning of toxicity until later. Fits of rage and jealousy soon replaced the sweet sandy beaches and the best parts of our relationship washed away with the current.
I admit I was too busy strolling along the shoreline with my eyes focused on the water and not on the clouds that were forming a storm ahead. I began to not be able to see the negativity. All of the signs slapped me in the face along with the warnings from the people who care about me. It changed who I am as a person and to this day, I’m not sure if I will ever love or trust again.
Surviving the storm seemed as if it was the main priority. I wonder if I should’ve ever went to the beach at all. Eventually, I realized that relationships can’t be avoided as easily as skipping vacations by the ocean. It is inevitable to avoid relationships in general, but if you notice a storm appearing sooner rather than later, it might be safe to reschedule or at the very least bring an umbrella.
-An anonymous story as told by Elizabeth Newcomb
Toxic relationships surround us everyday, and are hidden in plain sight. Several people grapple with how to deal with the concept of a toxic relationship. Adults, children, and teenagers are all affected by this issue. Nobody is exempt from the poor behaviour, yet each can find a way to survive through it.
According to The Hidden Hazards Of Toxic Relationships, written by Sherrie Bourg Carter of Psychology Today, the first step to getting out of a toxic relationship is realizing you’re even in one to begin with.
Sherrie states within her article, “Many people in unhealthy relationships are in denial, even when friends or family members can see the danger signs and have told them so.” Essentially that means that no matter what their friends or family could be telling them, they won’t process and understand it until the denial wears off.
Sophomore at Grant Community High School, Viviana Torres has personal experience with trying to help guide her dear friend out of a toxic relationship. She claimed, “As her friend I first decided to speak her first about all the things that I thought were toxic for the relationship. I do realize that some think it’s not my place to say anything, but if you saw your friend hurting as much as I saw mine, how could you not say anything?”
When describing how excruciatingly difficult it was to be involved with such a time consuming and traumatic process, it was evident that there was only one solution. The best way to survive something as painful as this is to get out of the situation.
“Some advice that I have for anyone suffering through a toxic relationship would be, think about the time that you have been in the relationship. Do the positives outweigh the negatives? If the answer is no, then you have to automatically think ‘why on Earth are you in this relationship’?”
However, as clear cut as it may seem to be in order to leave, that isn’t always the case. Sophomore at Grant Community High School Rebecca Fabry claimed that, “It got to a point where I couldn’t get myself out of it.”
After enduring a very toxic relationship, Rebecca felt at a loss of words. She compared it to having an internal bully. Soon enough, she knew it was time to self advocate for and move forward in a positive manner. She describes it as the breaking point.
“There was a point where I couldn’t take it anymore.” Becca answers before addressing pieces of advice she wants to spread with the community and anyone who happens to be struggling.
“If you know deep in your heart that you’re not happy no matter if it’s in a toxic relationship or not, get out of it. If you’re not happy then you’re hurting yourself until you’re hurting the other person.”
Dr. Asa Don Brown wrote an article through Psychology Today about toxic relationships and claims that the definition of a toxic relationship is any kind of relationship that is proven unfavorable to you or others.
Throughout the rest of the article, Brown mentions points of how to get out of an unhealthy relationship and how to recognize the signs earlier.
Concluding his piece, Brown stated, “Toxic relationships may be made up of good people with bad or poor relations.
Importantly, toxic relationships can be made up of poor choices, bad decisions, and wrong turns in life.”